Moments
by RoseSchmidt
Summary: Kendall's life comes crashing down when his girlfriend is rushed to hospital and falls into a coma. All he can do is reminisce about their memories and desperately wish for more time with her. RATED T FOR SWEARING AND SEXUAL/ADULT THEMES
1. Chapter 1

**A/N – I know the summary for this story sucks, but hopefully the actual story is better! If you aren't into all that angsty-type stuff, then you probably won't enjoy this. Or maybe you will, who am I to tell you what to do. ANYWAYS, I think to get the best possible mindset for this story, listen to 'Moments' by One Direction on repeat [hence the title]. I swear to God that song makes me cry every time, and it goes perfectly with this story. Hopefully I will update this and my other stories soon (I am on a holiday in BALI so I might be a bit slow with them). Anyways, enjoy. Subscribe, review, do what you will. Tell me what you think, whether I should continue this!**

The doctor walked up to Kendall, who was sitting in the waiting room chair, frantically tapping his feet on the linoleum. He saw the man approach him and practically launched himself out of the seat.

"Is she okay? Can I see her?" Kendall asked, his voice rough from crying.

The doctor looked at his feet for a moment, as if her were trying to think of how to phrase what he was about to say. He took a deep breath and looked into the young man's green, bloodshot eyes. "She was unconscious for a long time. There wasn't enough oxygen getting to her brain. We were too late."

Kendall stumbled back a step, knowing into the stainless steel coffee table. "She's dead?" He asked incredulously, his voice breaking he realised the full extent of what had happened.

"No. Not yet at least. Her body is still functioning but her brain suffered severe damage, she is in a comatose state. There's no telling how long it will last. I'm afraid it doesn't look good. I'm so sorry." He extended his arm to place it on Kendall's shoulder, comforting him. The attempt was in vain though, because Kendall's whole body went numb and his vision began to blur, his eyes filling with tears.

"No. Please, no. No, no, no." He whispered, to no one in particular. He looked back up at the doctor, who was staring at Kendall worriedly. Kendall looked up at the doctor, his body shaking slightly. "Can I see her?" He asked, hopelessness evident in his voice.

"Are you sure?"

Kendall nodded fervently, "Yes, I'm sure. I need to see her."

The doctor turned around and lead Kendall up the hallway. The bland corridor only made him feel worse, it had a strong sterilized smell, white walls and white linoleum-tiled floors. The hospital doors were off-white with a stainless steel trim and a small window into the rooms, where patients were lying helplessly. She had always hated hospitals, Kendall thought to himself, she said they were possibly the only thing more depressing than death itself. The doctor finally began to slow, and then came to a complete halt in front of a room with 'Room 214' written on a plaque. The doctor looked back at Kendall, whose face had lost all trace of colour, and gave him a reassuring smile before opening the heavy door.

"Oh God." Kendall's voice came out as a small squeak.

She was lying on the hospital bed, and it seemed almost surreal to Kendall. Everything looked like a duller version of what should've been. He instantly remembered all the times he had watched her lying on her bed. But the bright red bedspread and patterned pillows in his memory had somehow transformed into a dreary, papery sheet. Her black, lacy lingerie was now a stiff hospital gown. The beautiful, fiery woman he used to love was now lifeless. Her black hair looked matted and dull, hanging limp around her. Her usually intense, blue-eyed stare was blocked by her drooping eyelids.

It was almost painful for Kendall to see her like this. He hesitantly placed his hand on top of hers, and was startled by hold cold and clammy it was. He lowered himself down onto the seat by her bed.

"Usually visiting hours end at 5" The doctor spoke up from the doorway, gesturing to the clock on her bedside table which read 5:10pm, "But you can stay as long as you need. It's not as though you are doing any harm."

Kendall smiled at the doctor gratefully, "Thank you."

"No worries." He replied. "And don't give up hope, she still might pull through." He gave a quick wave before slipping out, back into the hallway.

Kendall stared at her for what seemed like an hour, desperately wishing she would wake up. He tucked her hair behind her ear, and then got up and leaned in towards her.

"Please. Please wake up. I need you." Kendall's voice broke and he began to cry. Usually he would try to hold it in, to 'be a man' and stay strong. But he didn't care. He didn't care about anything anymore. His reason for living was lying in front of him, completely unresponsive.

Kendall desperately grabbed her hand, "If you can hear me, please squeeze my hand. Please." Her hand remained still, and Kendall broke down. He buried his head into her chest, crying loudly. "You can't do this to me. I need you. Without you, I'm nothing. You are everything to me. Absolutely everything. I love you. I am begging you, I will do anything. Just please wake up."

He crawled up onto the bed and lay beside her, his arm wrapped around her shoulders. As he lay there, staring at the blank ceiling, his mind wandered. Most of these thoughts involved her, it was impossible not to think about her. He gently closed his eyes and remembered back to the day they met.

_Kendall lay down and let the sun shine down on his chest. It was all so perfect; the sand underneath him, the cold beer in his hand, and the sound of the waves breaking in the background._

"_This is the life." Logan called from the seat next to him._

_He heard murmurs of agreement from either side of him, where his other best friends, James and Carlos, were lounging. Kendall sat up and took off his sunglasses._

"_I don't ever want to go back." He said as he took in his surroundings. The beach wasn't crowded, just random scatterings of people along the shore. The sand looked so white and pure, and it only made the bright blue water look more gorgeous. He had only been in Cancun for a He stood up and brushed the sand off himself. "Now who wants to go for a swim?" He called, already running down the beach into the water._

_He dived straight into the water, and made his way out to the deeper section, just past where the waves form. He heard calls behind him and saw his friends right behind him, catching up to him. He looked all around him, absolutely astounded by how beautiful it is. The beach was a long stretch of sand with rocks at either end, and his and his friends' stuff was near one of the rocky boundaries. He watched a group of girls walking along the rocks, laughing and calling out to eachother. One of the girls was a bit behind the rest, stopping to look at one of the rockpools. She was tall and tanned, wearing a white, skimpy one piece. She had long, shiny black hair, reaching her stomach. Before Kendall could study her any further, he got engulfed by a massive wave. He was caught completely off-guard, and he rolled around under the water, hitting the sandy floor roughly. He pushed up, breathing in deeply, trying to empty the water from his lungs. He was completely disoriented, and heard all these voices around him. _

_From one direction he heard Carlos, "Kendall, buddy, you alright?"_

_But the thing that was more focussed on was the frantic voice of the girls screaming. "Help! Someone. HELP!" He whipped around quickly and saw the group of girls waving their arms about. The girl he was watching before was gone. Before _

_Carlos could get closer to Kendall, he was already off; swimming over to the rocks._

"_Where is she?" Kendall called, his voice raspy from the swimming. "She fell in, I don't know where she is." One of the girls cried, pointing desperately into the water. Kendall dived under and looked around. He saw a patch of black swaying in the current and tried to swim towards it. He felt like he was about to pass out from lack of air when he finally made it to her and grabbed her arm roughly, pulling her back up to the surface. He tried to push her up onto the rocks, but the steepness combined with the slippery surface of the wet, algae-covered rock made it impossible. He had no choice but to swim back to the shore, with the girl in tow._

_When he stumbled upon the sand after swimming against the currents, he felt like he was going to collapse. He placed the girl down and took in her appearance._

_She had a deep cut on her forehead, which was flowing with blood. Her black hair seemed even more perfect up close, and her bronze skin had no blemishes whatsoever. She had full, light pink lips, which were slightly parted, revealing her straight, white teeth. He suddenly took in everything, realizing that she was unconscious and not breathing._

_He began the slam into her chest, trying to force her heart into beating. After about 15 compressions she began to cough, her body roughly spasming. She coughed up water and spat it onto the sand, her eyes filling with tears. She lay back down on the sand, exhaling deeply, and looked into Kendall's eyes. Her eyes were deep blue, almost as dark as the water lying before them. They were amazingly wide and surrounded by thick, black lashes._

"_Hey. I'm Kendall." He whispered, completely awestruck by her sheer beauty._

"_Ivy." She said breathlessly, giggling slightly._


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N – I am not sure whether I should start off the author's note with a greeting or just go straight into it. I am not good at these sorts of things. ANYWHOM, Thanks everyone for alerts and favourites and reviews and so on and so forth, it just kind of motivates me to write the next chapter, because I am actually one of the laziest people in the history of society. AND, to everyone who read my other fanfictions; I kind of gave up on 'All Over Again' because I just got bored, and the next chapter for 'Nothing Stays the Same' will hopefully be up later today. This chapter does have very very slight smut, but nowhere near full-on smut because I am far too awkward and inexperienced to write that without sounding like an idiot. Sorry this author's note is so long. Hope you enjoy this chapter, feel free to review with anything you want, even if to just say hi, and I do reply to every single review, so that just shows that they really do mean a lot :)**

**CarlosPenaLuverBTR1 – Thanks so much! And it is actually a tad depressing to write all the sad, emotional bits. And it's practically impossible to not sound like a crappy cliché, but thanks! Hope you like this chapter.**

**BigTimeGinger – Ah, faithful companion, cheers for the review. I am still sorting out the ending but I have a rough idea of what's going to happen! Thank you.**

"Kendall, dear, it's good to see you." Mrs. Scott said with a tight smile.

"Yeah, it's been a while" Kendall yawned as he stood up to hug her.

He had been asleep when Ivy's parents arrived at the hospital. They both looked tired, worn out. It was though they had aged 10 years in the couple of months he hadn't seen them. Mrs. Scott's eyes looked red and bleary, indicating she had been crying, and her usually happy features now looked weary. Mr. Scott looked less different, but there were still some minor signs of the past few day's events. There were more creased lines around his eyes and dark shading underneath them, he also hadn't shaves in a few days, and he had slight gray stubble on his jaw and chin.

"How are you holding up?" Mr. Scott asked sympathetically, leaning forward to shake his hand.

Kendall sighed, trying to think of how to reply. "Alright. I've been better. What about you, Mr. and Mrs. Scott?"

"Oh, please Kendall, you can call us Denise and Craig." Replied Denise, attempting a light-hearted tone, which still sounded hollow.

Before Kendall could respond, a young, female doctor appeared in the doorway.

"Mr. Scott, Mrs. Scott. Can I please speak with you for a moment? Just about Ivy's medical history, insurance and other matters."

"Of course" Said Craig, putting his arm around Denise's waist, leading her out.

Kendall looked back towards Ivy, who was still lying there, motionless. She looked exactly the same as she had last night, her facial expression serene, as though she were just asleep. Kendall sat back down in the chair beside her bed and put his hand on hers.

"Wow, Knight, why so dressed up?" Logan called as Kendall walked out into the living room of their beach house.

"No reason." He smirked, fixing his jacket.

"Come on Kendall, we have known you since you were 5. And we know that you never get that dressed up for 'no reason'. You have a date tonight, don't you?" James reasoned.

Kendall looked into the full length mirror, surveying his appearance. His hair was still a bit wet from the shower, and he could feel it dripping down his back. He was wearing beige chinos with the cuffs rolled up and his favourite pair of black vans, black shirt and a dark gray jacket.

"So?" Carlos said, bouncing on the couch with excitement. "Who is it?"

"The girl from the beach, Ivy."

James' head snapped around and he looked at Kendall incredulously. "The hot one?"

Kendall rolled his eyes and replied "Yes, James, the hot one."

"Why is she going on a date with you?" James asked confusedly. Logan tried to contain a laugh, but failed.

Kendall raised his eyebrows. "Wow, thanks." He said sarcastically.

James stood up and walked over to Kendall. "You know I didn't mean it like that. What I am trying to say is that, let's face it, I am the best looking in the group, and usually the girls go after me. Not you. So what I was wondering was how did you manage to get a date with her. Did you beg her? Pay her? Drug her?"

"Or all of the above?" Carlos added.

"Actually, she asked me out for dinner. She said it was her way of repaying me for rescuing her today"

"Ah," James exclaimed, "So it's a pity. She feels guilty, like she owes you something, so by taking you out for dinner, she is making herself feel better."

"Maybe, just maybe, there are no ulterior motives to this date. She just genuinely wants to spend some time with me. Is that really so impossible?"

"Yes." James said seriously.

Logan sighed and turned to Kendall "There is no point reasoning with James, he's clearly an idiot."

"A handsome idiot" James corrected.

"Still an idiot" Kendall interjected.

Logan laughed at the interaction, before continuing, "So you might as well just give up, you don't want to be late."

"You're right!" Kendall exclaimed, running to the door and exiting before anyone could respond.

Kendall got to the restaurant right on time, which was surprising because he had gotten lost on the way over. He stood in front of the restaurant in complete awe, it look unbelievably fancy. Kendall suddenly felt underdressed as he walked through the large glass doors and up to a well-dressed waiter.

"Good evening sir, do you have a reservation?" The waiter said with a thick French accent.

Kendall stood there, his mind totally blank, did they have a reservation? What was it under? "I think so. Is there a table for 2 at 8pm?"

The waiter looked at him in confusion, "There are several - do you know the name for the booking?"

"Are the bookings under first or last names?"

"Last names"

Kendall's face fell. "Oh." He said quietly. The waiter gave him a sympathetic look and leaned in towards him.

"How about I take you inside and hopefully you can find the person you are meeting."

Kendall smiled widely, "That sounds perfect. Thank you so much"

The waiter turned around and walked to the two large doors, opening them. Inside was absolutely breathtaking; probably the nicest restaurant Kendall had ever been too. It was eight on the beach, and the whole front wall was made of shutters, which were wide open, enabling the warm breeze to drift through. The room had candles everywhere, giving the room a soft glow, and the tables had white linen table clothes with navy blue accents. Kendall tried to look closely at the patrons of every table, trying to find Ivy. He finally saw her across the room, at the best table in the whole restaurant, right in the middle of the far wall, with the perfect view of the beach. She was reading through the menu, glancing out at the water occasionally.

He turned back to the waiter "That's her, just over there." He said, pointing over to Ivy's table, "Thank you, again."

The waiter smiled, "Enjoy your meal" He said, before walking back to the front room.

Ivy saw Kendall walking over to the table, and stood up to greet him. She was wearing a short, dark blue sun dress, that would've been too casual for this restaurant in any other circumstance, but it looked so elegant on her, the way it it fit her so perfectly, and made her eyes shine just that much more. She had on a plain silver necklace and matching bracelets, and simple black heels. Her hair looked like it was photoshopped, the way it fell so effortlessly in loose waves. She had on very simple makeup, just a bit of silvery eyeshadow and pale pink lipstick. Kendall walked up to her, engulfing her in a warm hug. He could smell her floral perfume mixed with the faint trace of saltwater, it suited her perfectly.

"Hey Kendall", she greeted him sweetly, "How are you?"

They pulled out of the hug as Kendall replied, "Great thanks. How are you?"

"Pretty good"

"You look amazing." He said genuinely, walking over to her chair to pull it out for her.

"Thank you, you're so sweet. And you clean up pretty well yourself" She giggled.

Kendall walked over to his side of the table and sat down. He picked up the menu and began to read it. It was really expensive. A main course was about $40-$80 each, and he also had to get entrees, desserts and wine. He quickly checked his wallet, to make sure he had enough. He only had around $250 in cash, but he had all his cards, so he could easily just put it on one of those. Ivy saw him with wallet, a frown on her face.

"Why are you doing that? You aren't paying for dinner."

Kendall looked up, confused, "Of course I'm paying for dinner - as if I am going to go on a date with a girl and make her pay for dinner"

Ivy giggled softly, "Well I appreciate the gesture, but my uncle owns this restaurant. He said tonight is on the house."

A huge wave of relief swept through Kendall, "Okay - well then how about I pay for post-dinner drinks?"

Ivy's face went stony "When did I agree to post-dinner drinks? You'll just get me drunk, fuck me and then never call me again." She said accusingly.

Kendall looked at her in complete shock. "What? Of course not" He could feel himself starting to get flustered. "I would never do that. I just thought it would be a fun th-"

He stopped when he saw Ivy smirk, trying not to laugh.

"That was not funny." He said, trying not to smile.

"It was a little." She giggled.

Kendall gave in and began to laugh with her, "Okay, maybe just a little bit."

They smiled at each other and returned to their menus, trying to decide on what to order.

He stopped suddenly and looked up at Ivy. If someone had come up to the awkward 14 year old he used to be and told him he would be in a successful band with his 3 best friends, sitting in an amazing beachfront restaurant in Cancun on a date with one of the most beautiful women he had ever seen in his life; he would've told them they were fucking insane. Yet here he was, and he couldn't quite believe it.

"Can we sit down, please?" Ivy whined from behind him.

Dinner had been perfect - the food, the wine, Ivy. She was amazing. She lived in LA, like Kendall, so whatever it was between them didn't have to necessarily end when the holiday did. She was smart; she had done law at Yale, worked at a nice law firm in the city. Her friends and her were all in Cancun for a wedding, but had decided to stay for a 3-week holiday afterwards. They were all staying near Kendall, just a few streets away in a gorgeous beachfront mansion owned by her friend's parents.

After dinner, they had gone down to a bar near where they were staying. While Ivy had slowly sipped on her drinks, Kendall had gone through his quite quickly, making him a tad more drunk than Ivy. Although it's not like she was entirely sober, she was still stumbling about, slightly slurring her words. Kendall had suggested a walk on the beach, and here they were.

"Do you want to sit down here?" Kendall called out, lowering himself down to the sand slowly, he was near the ground when his hand slipped from below him and he fell to the sand with a dull thud.

Ivy ran over, laughing, "Are you okay?" She asked when she made it to him.

"I'm fine, now come sit." He said as he pulled her down next to him.

Kendall checked his watch, 2:23am, he hoped then guys weren't worrying about him.

"I've got an idea!" He suddenly shouted.

"An idea for what?"

"An idea for what we should do."

"Alright." Ivy said, crossing her arms, "Let's hear it."

"We should play truth or dare."

Ivy nodded and leaned back, lying on the sand. "You go first. I choose truth"

Kendall lay down on the sand next to Ivy, deep in thought. What should he ask her? Suddenly, before he could think, he blurted something out.

"Do you plan on having sex with me?" He tried to sound suave and seductive when he said it, but just ended up sounding like exactly what he was, a drunken idiot.

Ivy laughed loudly, rolling around on the sand.

Kendall grinned sheepishly at her, "Is that a no then?"

"No!" Ivy exclaimed, and Kendall looked away embarrassedly. "No, I mean no to saying no?" She slowly trailed off into unintelligible murmurs.

Kendall gave her a very confused glance. "Alright? Look, just forget I said that, it was the alcohol talking."

Ivy took a deep breath, and began to explain, putting on her lawyer voice. "Alright. I like you Kendall, and I have no issue having sexual relations with you. Just probably not tonight, seeing as we are both intoxicated and not in our prime decision making mindset, I want the first time we have sex with each other to be great, and I want to remember it the next morning."

"Wow." Kendall breathed, "That sounded very smart."

Ivy took a little bow, giggling softly "Thank you good sir. AND, don't you think you are getting a bit ahead of yourself? We haven't even kissed yet."

"You're right." Kendall said thoughtfully, he then propped himself up on his elbows, then rolled over so he was on top of Ivy, his hands next to either side of her head. He lowered his face until it was right above hers, and gently kissed her. At first it was soft, but as it wore on, it progressed to a passionate, heated kiss. Ivy brought her hands up and snaked them around his neck, running her fingers through his hair.

Kendall slid his tongue into Ivy's mouth, she moaned and flipped them both over, so she was sitting on top of him, straddling him. She pushed off his jacket and pulled his shirt over his head. She pulled back and stared at him in awe. She had seen him shirtless at the beach this afternoon but somehow this was different. He was skinny, but muscular, with defined abs and a prominent pelvic bone, leading in a V shape down towards his crotch.

Before Ivy could examine his chest anymore, Kendall's hands eagerly made their way to the hem of her dress, gently lifting it up her thighs. He slowly shifted it completely up and over her head, leaving her in her underwear.

Kendall lay his head down on the soft sand and took in her appearance. She was wearing matching, lacy, black bra and thong. Her breasts were average sized but perfectly shaped, round and pert. Her figure was exactly what Kendall adored in a woman, she had curves but still looked healthy. Kendall threw her dress of into the pile that contained his clothes, and gave her one last, long kiss before standing up and removing his pants and shoes, now only wearing a pair of dark blue boxers.

He leaned down and picked Ivy up, carrying her bridal style down towards the water.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" She cried, squirming around in his arms.

"We, my dear Ivy, are going for a swim" He said, as he finally reached the waves and began to wade in deeper.

"No, Kendall, stop it. It's freezing." She giggled, trying to free herself from his grip. "Why do you want to go swimming? It's the middle of the night"

"Because, if we stayed there on the sand, things would've gone further because, let's face it, no woman can resist my undeniable charm. And, you said you didn't want to have sex tonight."

Ivy just shook her head and laughed, "Fair enough" She said as she finally escaped from his arms and began to run further out, stopping when she was about waist deep in the dark blue water.

"Hang on. Weren't we playing truth or dare before all this started?" She said questioningly.

Kendall nodded, "Yes, but we did manage to go off track"

"Well. Now it's my turn. Truth or dare?"

Kendall paused, trying to think about which option to choose. He finally decided to man up and choose the riskier one. "Dare." He said, provokingly.

"Hm. Interesting." She said as she cocked one eyebrow. "I dare you, Kendall Knight, to give me your boxers."

Kendall stared at her, completely confused. "But I thought you didn't want to have sex?"

"No one said anything about sex" She laughed, "I just want you to remove your boxers, and hand them to me."

Kendall raised his eyebrows defiantly. "Fine." He said, reaching down under the surface of the water to take off his wet boxers. He flung them at her, and she caught them and held them out in front of her, examining them.

She slowly sauntered over to him, and leaned in to whisper something.

"Good to know I'm not the only one whose underwear is soaked." She breathed into his ear teasingly.

Kendall choked on his breath, sputtering a bit. He shifted awkwardly, trying to hide his painfully incessant erection that was caused by the mixture of what she had said, the feeling of her warm breath on his neck and the fact that she was just in lingerie and he was stark naked. Ivy slowly pulled away from his ear and chuckled. She stopped when her face was directly in front of his, looking deeply into his eyes. She leaned into him, and their mouths finally made contact. She gently placed her hands on either side of his face, as the kiss deepened.

She pulled away after just a few seconds, smiling.

"My turn" Kendall whispered, "Truth or dare?"

"Umm...truth"

Kendall stopped, considering what to ask. He wasn't exactly proud of his last question. He finally chose something, and asked Ivy, "Alright, if you could change one thing about yourself or your life, what would it be?"

Ivy froze suddenly, and her eyes glazed over, tearing up slightly. Kendall stopped and put his hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. Was that too personal? Don't answer if you don't want to. I'm really sorry Ivy"

She shook her head. "No. It's fine. I'm just not used to talking about it. But I feel like I can kind of trust you, you know?"

Kendall smiled. "Well don't feel like you have to talk to me about it. Let's go back to the shore."

Ivy nodded slightly. Kendall slowly took back his boxers from Ivy and put them on. He then wrapped his arm around her and lead her back up to the sand.

They made it back to their original spot, where their clothes were placed. He slowly lowered her to the ground, and then joined her. She nestled up into his side and leaned her head on his shoulder.

"So." He said softly. "You want to talk about it?"

"Well. I suppose I'll just get straight to the point." She took a deep breath. "When I was 16 I was diagnosed with Manic Depression."

"Like bipolar?"

She nodded, avoiding eye contact with him.

Kendall had gone to high school with someone who had bipolar back in Minnesota. He had killed himself before they graduated. He tried not to think about that as he turned to look at Ivy.

Ivy let out a shaky breath, and Kendall could tell she was trying not to cry.

He held onto just a little tighter, and began soothingly playing with her hair. "So what does that mean exactly?"

"It basically means that I have major mood swings. Sometimes I feel so, so happy. Like everything is perfect and I'm fucking untouchable. Then, suddenly, I'm the opposite. I feel like everything is hopeless and everyone is out to get me. It's like my whole life feels like it's ending and there's nothing I can do but stand back and watch. I feel so powerless, and I never know when a transition is coming, it just happens. I've started taking medication for it, which makes it a lot easier. But it's still pretty tough."

Kendall sat there in complete shock, not quite sure what to say.

"How did you find out you had it?"

"Well I'm adopted, my real Mom was homeless. She was mentally unstable and when she fell pregnant she began using drugs. She gave birth to me in an alleyway. A family found me and took me to a hospital, and from there I was sent to foster homes until I was about 4 or 5. That's when my parents adopted me. By the time I was 16, everything was great. I was acing every class, top marks for everything, I was head cheerleader, I was dating like the hottest guy in school. My life was perfect. I was perfect. And then all of a sudden it just turned horrible. I got paranoid, and had all these fights with my friends about nothing. I was in a terrible mood all the time. I never wanted to wake up in the mornings because with every day my life would slowly go off track. I began missing lots of school, I got dumped, I was kicked off the squad, my grades went so low. I lost everything and I just couldn't find a reason to live." Her breath hitched, and Kendall grabbed her hand, reassuring her.

"I had been self-harming for a while. Nothing major. Just little cuts every now and then. And then all of a sudden I couldn't go on anymore. It hurt me to keep on going. It was like I was getting so tired, and I just wanted to fall asleep and never wake up." By now tears were pooling in her eyes and slowly falling down her cheeks. "One day I had just had enough. I locked myself in my bathroom and used a kitchen knife to slash my wrists. I then took a whole bottle of sleeping pills and passed out. I woke up in hospital. On suicide watch. They did some tests on me and that's when I was diagnosed. We moved to LA and I got my life back on track. I have little relapses every few months. But, for the most part, I'm fine now. I'm just scared. Scared about what's going to happen if during my next episode I do succeed in killing myself. I'm terrified. Please don't hate me. Some people think of me weirdly after I tell them that. They treat me differently, like I'm a different person. Please don't do that."

Kendall kneeled in front of her, and placed his hand on her face, lightly touching her cheek. "You are probably one of the bravest people I have ever met. And by telling me that, you haven't scared me off in the slightest. You just showed me that you are so strong, to get through all that and still come out the other side so happy and upbeat. It's amazing. You're amazing, Ivy."

Kendall kissed her sweetly, and then pulled away, looking back into her eyes. "Thank you for telling me that."

She smiled, still crying, and hugged him. They both lied down on the sand and just lay there, watching the stars. To anyone else, it would've been a strange sight; a couple lying on the beach, soaking, in their underwear, hugging in the sand. But to them, it felt perfect.


End file.
